Dream With Your Eyes Open

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This week I have been doing a lot better with waking up, didn't miss any classes! Go me. I think my problem is being such an insomniac at night. Even if I try to go to sleep at a decent time, I end up sitting there thinking and doodling all night. I have to say I really love having windows in my room so I can look out at night. In my parents house, I pretty much always had my bedroom in the basement. When I looked out the window I saw metal, if I wanted to see any form of the outside world I had to turn my head at a weird angle and look up. I miss my old room though, I figured out that while renting a duplex, one of my least favorite things is not being able to have the freedom to paint the walls whatever color I want. It's even worse because the original colors my landlord chose happens to be a gross light brown color and almost a peachy tan color. At my parents house I had a lot of painting freedom. I think within the last three years I lived there I must have painted my room about five times. I even was able to paint a mural-type thing all along the main wall. I'm the type of girl who needs change, to keep things interesting. That's why I have had a number of different hair colors, clothing styles, music tastes, etc. I guess I'm kind of all over the place. I just realized my rambles started at my insomnia and progressed towards my randomness somehow, ha.

Speaking of things I don't like about renting already, I have been thinking of other things. We have a side door that seems to always have something wrong with it. When we first moved in it slammed ridiculously loud, every time someone walked into our house we had to make sure they eased the door shut so we wouldn't upset the neighbors. After our friend fixed that our screen door decided that it wanted to be completely separated from the actual door frame. At this point we should have told our landlord just to replace the entire door considering this isn't the end of the problems with this door. Next, the inside door latch decided to fall off and within the next few days the outside latch came off the hinges. Yesterday, my roommate and I were walking up to our door when we realized it was completely opened. We knew that the door didn't completely close anyway so we just figured it was the wind that blew it open. Instead we realized that the entire "hydrolic" "swingy part" (sorry, I don't know the correct term) of the door completely detached itself from the door. This is nothing compared to our first Xcel bill though, it was somewhere around $120. This was in the summer and we had only turned on the air once, our bill was worse than my parents house! Uhh, I'm already looking forward to owning my own house someday and it's only my first year of being a renter, ha. Oh well, I realize it was my choice to move out and this is just life.

In other news I have my appointment to go give blood on Saturday. I wonder what happens if I end up fainting or what if I move when they're trying to put the needle in me? What if I have one of those nurses who do it wrong the first time and they have to do it again? I have so many worries about this, I'm afraid I will chicken out.

I guess we are who we are for a lot
of reasons. And maybe we'll never know most
of them. But even if we don't have the
power to choose where we come from, we can still
chose where we go from there.
The Perks of Being a Wallflower
*great book

Until next time,
Kendell

P.s. 43 days until the theater premiere of Twilight comes out :)