Living Is Easy With Eyes Closed

The usual rambles begin..

I received some news the other day that made me very happy. This Thanksgiving I will be going to my grandparents in Michigan and during this time we will also be celebrating Christmas since we won't be going there this year. This year for Christmas I'm going to be extremely sad that I won't be able to get anyone presents pretty much considering I'm a poor college student. I guess I'm lucky though because I have the creativity to make something and call it a present, I guess those are the presents that mean the most anyway. To drive to Michigan it's a long 12-15 hour drive that is mostly annoying and time consuming, although I really like it at the same time. It gives me the chance to finally sit and relax for a bit. I end up drawing, listening to music, reading and catching up on sleep (I love sleeping in cars!). This year I am really excited too because since I have a laptop I will be able to mess around with Illustrator and InDesign for finally get some of these designs out of my head. I also love driving through different towns and seeing the different atmospheres and people in them.

I have always wished that my mom's side of the family lived closer, I pretty much only see them one to two times a year and it's really not enough. This past year before I graduated and my family came into town, my grandma had a mild stroke. It was so hard to see her repeating herself and forgetting conversations we had just moments ago. That's just another of the numerous reasons I want to visit them more often, age is a scary thing.. I don't know when I'm going to use them but the thought already brings tears to my eyes. Especially because I've never been one to deal with death well or even funerals. Most of the time I avoid them all together just so I won't have to deal with the pain. I am very fortunate to still have all of my grandparents, well, not technically. I never met my actual grandma and grandpa on my dad's side. His mom died around the time he was seven from lung cancer and so did his dad a couple of years later. Before he died, he remarried and this is who I now know as my grandma since my birth.. and when he died she also remarried and this is now who I call my grandpa. Kind of a weird scenario there. My blood grandpa died right before my dads birthday, I can't even imagine the hurt he felt. He's such a strong person and I am so grateful to have him in my life. I wish I could have met my actual grandma and grandpa though, my dad has always said that I would have loved them and we would have had a lot in common.

I have a feeling this years Halloween is going to be really lame. There's pretty much nothing to do other than follow the number of people who are going to Madison and the cities.. which I would rather not do. I guess it doesn't even matter, I don't have a costume nor have any ideas for one. I will probably just end up hanging out with a few friends like every other year.

Everything in life has still been going well, I have no complaints at all.

Until next time,
Kendell

Don't wish me happiness, I don't expect
to be happy all the time.. it has gotten beyond that
somehow. Wish me courage and strength and a
sense of humor. I will need them all.
-Anne Morrow LIndbergh

Trust Life A Little Bit

The sunset was extremely gorgeous the other night, taken from my parents house - home sweet home. <3

Wow, I really don't have anything to write about again this week. More rambles!

I know I have talked about my classes a number of times but I am going to be talking a little bit more. I am really happy with the Graphic Design classes I have been taking and learning about different programs. I love learning about the cool things I can do in Adobe Illustrator and InDesign, it makes me really look forward to future classes that I get to take. I think I am going to take less classes next term though but still remain a full time student. I am also very excited to be in the Graphics Design Club too, we are going on a field trip soon to Milwaukee to tour agencies. Should be fun.

So I finally did it, I quit Old Navy. I have been working there for about a year and a half and enough was enough. It's right in time too, working during Thanksgiving and Christmas is ridiculous in retail. People are so rude and inconsiderate during that time of the year even though it seems like it should be the complete opposite. It always makes me so mad how Thanksgiving and Christmas became such commercial holidays. It lost it's true meaning completely. Anyways, off the subject. I think quitting is one of my least favorite things to do, the employer always looks so disappointed. Plus, I'm really bad at saying that I am quitting so I probably sound very indecisive like I don't even know if I should or not. I guess I just hate letting people down and disappointing them. This time was much better than the first job I quit, I worked at Hobby Lobby for barely six months and completely hated it. The only reason I stayed so long was because my mom kept telling me to work it out and stick through it. Anyway, I am very happy with this decision. I really want to find another job though, I was thinking maybe bartending. They make such good money and I think it would be fun and fast paced. Although I would never be able to work in an actual bar, I would have to work some nicer restaurant. We'll see what happens. I'm not in a rush to get another job right away, I will be getting a raise from KT in a few months here. (:

I finally saw Zombieland last night and it was hilarious although maybe a bit too gorey for my taste but that's alright. I love that actor Jesse Eisenberg. I have always found theaters to be an amusing place to be. It's interesting to see the different groups of people all paying an extremely large amount to see a movie that may or may not be good. I also love the previews, I don't know why. My least favorite part about movies are the awkward silences in between the previews, little middle schoolers being obnoxious, and the uncomfortable seats. Come to think about it, I can't believe I spent $8.75 to go see a movie when I can just see it in a few weeks for $1.06 at the RedBox. Stupid me.

Anyway, this is it for now, until next time.
Kendell

"Though my soul may set in darkness,
it will rise in perfect light, I have loved
the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night."
-Sarah Williams

P.s. me and a friend of mine finally ventured to Sonic the other day and it was amazing. I always hated that they played commercials and we really don't have one near enough to just go to and it always looked so good. (:

P.s.s. Finally got a nice enough day that didn't consist of work to go take pictures of the beautiful fall season. More to come!

A Fortunate Accident

(http://www.joejennings.com/slide163.htm)

It's weird to think of where I am going to end up. What job will I have? Where will I live? Who will I meet? It's weird to think about but it kind of seems like everything in life just falls into place. Take for example my major, Graphic Design. I had always loved drawing, being creative, and learning more about art. Although when I was in Middle School and we had to write an autobiography about our lives, one of the questions were "what do you want to be when you grow up?" I knew I liked art and wanted to do something with that but what? It would be extremely hard to be a professional artist but what kind of career would I be able to find that would also support my personal life? Speaking of which, I think it's crazy that schools try to make you think about what career you're going to have at such a young age. Aren't you supposed to enjoy your childhood while you can? Anyways, that was off the subject, as I was saying I was trying to find some type of career that could still give me a reasonable amount of money for life. I didn't really think about it until High School and the pressure of figuring out what you're going to be really started to happen. I kind of gave up thinking that I was going to find a job that would support my creative needs and life needs. I was even considering having a Marketing major which would be good financially but definitely not something I would want to do for the rest of my life. That's how funny life is, I joined classes for Marketing including Marketing Management, Accounting, and Internship and that is how I realized that I wanted to become a Graphic Designer. I was really hesitant going into my Internship class, in fact, I was kind of forced into it. I didn't enjoy Marketing or Accounting so why would I like Internship? We were trying to figure out what company we should Intern for and I couldn't think of anything. My teacher was a great help, she realized that I loved art yet so suggested I look into Graphic Design. It's sad but I really didn't think Graphic Design was for me when I first thought about it but I couldn't think of anything else so I just decided to just to see what would happen. I ended up going to a company called The Idea Center and interned under a woman named Beth. It turned out to be one of the greatest experiences in my life. It turns out it was everything that I wanted in life. Graphic Design gives me the creative aspect of my life incorporated into a financially stable job setting. I have started to take classes for this and am extremely happy with my little stumble into the career. It's funny how life works out like that. I've never really been a believer in the little saying "everything happens for a reason" but I'm thinking it may be true.

That reminds me of the movie Serendipity (amazing movie). The whole quote that the movie goes off of is "a fortunate accident." It's weird to think about destiny and fate, I can't tell if I really believe that kind of stuff or not..

On another note, I have a feeling I am going to be very miserable this winter. Ever since I have gotten my license, I have had a garage to put my car in. Now that I'm living on my own I do not. So the other morning when we had our little portion of snow come our way, there was a nice layer of frost on my windshield. Not only will the car thing not be pleasant but also our landowner deducted $50 for our rent a month if we took up on lawn care. So we have to mow the law, trim the bushes, and now since the snow is coming shovel the sidewalks. I didn't realize how much of a hassle shoveling is going to be now that it seems to be coming in the near future. Especially because we will have to shovel not only our little sidewalk but also our "duplex-roommates" sidewalks. That should be very interesting.

Well, that's all for now. Until next time,
Kendell

"Not all who wander get lost."

Dream With Your Eyes Open

(pixdaus.com 117634)

This week I have been doing a lot better with waking up, didn't miss any classes! Go me. I think my problem is being such an insomniac at night. Even if I try to go to sleep at a decent time, I end up sitting there thinking and doodling all night. I have to say I really love having windows in my room so I can look out at night. In my parents house, I pretty much always had my bedroom in the basement. When I looked out the window I saw metal, if I wanted to see any form of the outside world I had to turn my head at a weird angle and look up. I miss my old room though, I figured out that while renting a duplex, one of my least favorite things is not being able to have the freedom to paint the walls whatever color I want. It's even worse because the original colors my landlord chose happens to be a gross light brown color and almost a peachy tan color. At my parents house I had a lot of painting freedom. I think within the last three years I lived there I must have painted my room about five times. I even was able to paint a mural-type thing all along the main wall. I'm the type of girl who needs change, to keep things interesting. That's why I have had a number of different hair colors, clothing styles, music tastes, etc. I guess I'm kind of all over the place. I just realized my rambles started at my insomnia and progressed towards my randomness somehow, ha.

Speaking of things I don't like about renting already, I have been thinking of other things. We have a side door that seems to always have something wrong with it. When we first moved in it slammed ridiculously loud, every time someone walked into our house we had to make sure they eased the door shut so we wouldn't upset the neighbors. After our friend fixed that our screen door decided that it wanted to be completely separated from the actual door frame. At this point we should have told our landlord just to replace the entire door considering this isn't the end of the problems with this door. Next, the inside door latch decided to fall off and within the next few days the outside latch came off the hinges. Yesterday, my roommate and I were walking up to our door when we realized it was completely opened. We knew that the door didn't completely close anyway so we just figured it was the wind that blew it open. Instead we realized that the entire "hydrolic" "swingy part" (sorry, I don't know the correct term) of the door completely detached itself from the door. This is nothing compared to our first Xcel bill though, it was somewhere around $120. This was in the summer and we had only turned on the air once, our bill was worse than my parents house! Uhh, I'm already looking forward to owning my own house someday and it's only my first year of being a renter, ha. Oh well, I realize it was my choice to move out and this is just life.

In other news I have my appointment to go give blood on Saturday. I wonder what happens if I end up fainting or what if I move when they're trying to put the needle in me? What if I have one of those nurses who do it wrong the first time and they have to do it again? I have so many worries about this, I'm afraid I will chicken out.

I guess we are who we are for a lot
of reasons. And maybe we'll never know most
of them. But even if we don't have the
power to choose where we come from, we can still
chose where we go from there.
The Perks of Being a Wallflower
*great book

Until next time,
Kendell

P.s. 43 days until the theater premiere of Twilight comes out :)

I don't know what my problem has been lately, it seems as though I have a waking up problem. It used to be really bad in high school, I would have three or four alarm clocks yet still couldn't wake up. That's why I was thankful to have my mother wake me up. Now that I live on my own it's all on me, I thought I had been doing well. Many mornings I even wake up early enough to get other tasks accomplished yet others I just completely zone out and wake up way too late. I think this happens to many individuals, you lay back down for "just five more minutes" and wake up a couple hours later not knowing what happened. I personally go to turn off my alarm clock, change it to a later time knowing that I will fall back asleep, go lay in bed and tell myself, "Okay, after this song/after I count to twenty I will wake up and get ready" just to find myself falling back asleep once again. I personally blame my amazing, new, and extremely comfortable bed I have, ha. I've heard of these alarm clocks that sound pretty crazy. I guess there are multiple settings to this alarm clock such as an option to turn on lights, put a contraption under your mattress so it moves it, and siren sounds. I have been seriously thinking about investing in this although I am hoping that it doesn't get that far. If anyone has any suggestions as to waking up I would greatly appreciate it.

I have a paper that is coming up that seems to be coming to mind quite often these days. It is actually for the same class that I am writing this blog for, Written Communication. The assignment is taking something that makes you uncomfortable and nervous and to not only do this action but write about your feelings and reaction to this action. This quite frankly scares the crap out of me. So I got to thinking, what makes me nervous/anxious or scared? I'm not scared of any type of heights, rodents (although I don't like rodents and I would prefer them not be around me), any type of volunteer work or anything. Then I realized I have the perfect idea - donating blood. Don't get me wrong, I'm not afraid of blood or afraid of needles in any way, shape, or form. Although the thought of MY blood coming out of MY body from a needle scares me half to death. I also hate the thought of veins, they are extremely disgusting. If I think about them too much I cringe and feel very uncomfortable. I have had an IV in my arm and I pretty much passed out, I just don't like the thought of something that's in my body being sucked out of me. I can't handle it. That is why this makes it so difficult, I know this would be the perfect challenge for me but I honestly don't think I can do it. Just the thought sends shivers down my spine. So I don't know what to do, I know that's the whole point of the assignment I just don't know if I can do it. I'm still trying to think of something else but so far there hasn't been anything..

Oktoberfest was quite enjoyable. Although the drunks weren't as amusing as I had thought they would be, in fact, they were the opposite. I saw people laying on the ground attempting to text people while crying when it was only 1:00, a girl body slamming a car multiple times for who know what reason, and people falling all over the place. Living in the area isn't fun either considering if I wanted to drive somewhere I had to watch out for the drunks who liked to sit in the road talking to people. Oh well, I still had fun.

I feel bad talking about the weather again but I just can't help it - I love it. I love bundling up in sweatshirts and blankets and the brisk cool of the wind. I love being able to start the oven in the house without feeling like I am in a sauna. Yesterday was perfect, sunny and cool, the perfect combination. Today, on the other hand, isn't so nice. Don't get me wrong, I still love this rainy cool weather also but tonight is the Torchlight parade and I would rather not sit there in the rain and cold. Especially considering the Torchlight parade is my favorite parade I would really not like to miss it. Another flaw about the weather lately is the windy part, it seems to be knocking off all of the leaves from the trees even when they haven't changed colors yet! So sad.

Well, this is what has been happening in my life lately, have a nice day. :)

Kendell

Do you remember what you told me once?
That every passing minute is another chance to turn it all around.
-Vanilla Sky

P.s. I have been searching for a good book to read, does anyone have any suggestions?