Whatever Tomorrow Brings

I feel like I've been under a lot of pressure lately, I haven't yet found a good balance between school, work, and still being able to have a social life. At this point, school comes first.. but I am already starting to feel overwhelmed with the lack of money I have. Obviously since I am a full time student I am not able to work as much as I'm used to and I dislike it. They say money can't buy happiness but I almost disagree. It would be lovely to not have to worry about working as much as possible just to keep up with bills and maybe go on vacation once in a while. I guess this is the life that my parents have been warning me about.. reality. I hope I will be able to keep my head above the water. Last weekend I finally got a break and went to Valleyfair and honestly it was a trip long overdue. I had so much fun just being able to relax and have fun with some amazing people, plus I love rollercoasters. Here's another factor where money would be nice, as I mentioned before I want to travel but unfortunately that means having money. I have an opportunity to go to both Las Vegas and Mexico within the next few months yet I won't be able to because I won't have the money to do so. -sigh- Oh well, I guess that's life.

Speaking of upcoming months I am definitely excited about fall and winter. I find fall to be the most beautiful season of them all and I can't wait to be able to take a walk and just take pictures. There's just something about the crisp leaves and colors that just makes me feel happy. Winter should be interesting as well, I'm supposed to go snowboarding again this winter which should be an adventure in itself.

Of course nothing that I have written about means anything in comparison to the losses in Holmen that have been occurring lately. Within the past few years Holmen has lost a number of truly amazing people including Sarah, Tyler, Conor, Nate, Kimmy, Corey, Mark, and now Rachel. Yesterday was a tough day for me, although I had only talked to Rachel a couple times it rushed back thoughts of Kimmy and how a similar tragedy happened merely two years ago. The thought of death just scares me period and although death at all ages is terrible, it saddens me to see people that haven't even started their lives die at such a young age. The first person that had died that I was close to was an amazing guy named Conor, he had such an amazing outlook on life and it was forwarded to everyone he talked to. I couldn't go to his funeral, I couldn't accept that he was never coming back. When Kimmy died I brought myself to her wake and it killed me. I now avoid funerals and death whenever possible, I just can't handle it. My dad warns me that these are the years that I should be most worried about death, but it's just not fair. This fact also worries me because it seems as though all the graduating grades around me have lost someone.. except our grade. We cut it close when a boy named Chad got in a tragic accident but thankfully is doing a lot better now after months of being hospitalized. Who will the first person to die? Will I be close to them? Will I regret not being friends with them? These are the thoughts that could drive me crazy. One thing I am reminded of every time a death occurs is to live my life to the fullest, be nice to everyone, and don't regret a single day. You all are missed very much and you're always in my thoughts. <3

Until next time,
Kendell

"Don't ask what the meaning of life is - you define it."